Our Love Affair with Signing Time

When our oldest daughter, Reagan, was a baby I had every intention of teaching her sign language. I had researched the benefits, both for parents and children, and was excited to go down that road. But then life happened, sleepless nights & other duties prevailed, and we never pursued it further.

Our middle daughter, Reese, was the game changer. We found out on her birthday that she had Down syndrome along with a congenital heart defect. We were flooded with emotions at the unexpected news, and the fear of the unknown was overwhelming.  In an attempt to tame that fear, I scoured the Internet and our local library for any information regarding Down syndrome.  I was bombarded with info, some good & some bad, but focused on the things we could do to potentially improve Reese's quality of life.  This is where Signing Time enters our story.

Sign language is gaining popularity in the special needs community. Children with Down syndrome typically have speech delays, some more severe than others, and quite often their expressive language is slower to develop than their receptive language.  Obviously this disparity can cause frustration for both the child & his/her parents so other forms of communication are often used to bridge that gap.  Enter ASL.

We bought the Baby Signing Time bundle when Reese was just a few months old and started playing them in the background during play time. While Reese was not at all interested in the DVDs at first, I was floored by how quickly Reagan, her big sister, became addicted. She was mesmerized by Rachel & her crew and began signing immediately.  Finally, when Reese was nearing a year old, she started expressing some interest in the content & mastered simple signs like "more" and "baby" within just a few days. The rest, as they say, is history.

Reese picked up very quickly on the Baby Signing Time DVDs so we took the plunge and purchased the entire Signing Time set. (Hint: Wait for the sales! We bought the package when it was 50% off & saved a bundle.) We introduced a new DVD every few weeks & were astounded at how fast Reese & Reagan mastered the new content.  I wish I could take credit for any of their signing success but Rachel, Leah, Alex and Hopkins are the deserving ones.  All I do is hit "play" & let the team do their magic.  We attempt to incorporate signs into our daily routine & the girls love to be "quizzed", but I've done very little of the actual teaching.  Trust me when I say that "teaching" ASL to your loved one requires very little of your actual time.  If you are not opposed to screen time, you have an amazing resource in the Signing Time series.  Don't believe me?  Here's a little proof....

Reese signing some colors at 2 years of age: (88 weeks ago)

https://instagram.com/p/nb_1ZkQ0i5/

Sisters signing about sports: (69 weeks ago)

https://instagram.com/p/sv79q7w0k6/

Signing some words of encouragement for our beloved Royals: (64 weeks ago)

https://instagram.com/p/uLbIAfw0uF/

Reese was essentially nonverbal for the first three years of her life.  She could imitate sounds & said a few basic words with some prompting, but she relied on ASL & gestures for most of toddlerhood.  As is common with many kids with Down syndrome, her speech EXPLODED in her third year of life.  As a result, she has dropped many of her signs (insert sad face) but she still signs for emphasis & when we are having trouble understanding her speech.  I'm fairly certain ASL will be used in some shape or form in this house for many years to come.  

Reese working some opposites: (37 weeks ago)

https://instagram.com/p/1v9jsIw0u7/

We introduced our third daughter, Harper, to the world in April 2013 & she had no choice but to learn ASL.  It seems like she's been signing since birth.

Harper & Reese signing some basics: (55 weeks ago)

https://instagram.com/p/wo6B9YQ0gF/

As Reese's dexterity & cognition both improve, she is able to master trickier signs & can more easily pair signs with her speech.  

Signing an important message to kick off Down Syndrome Awareness Month: (10/1/15)

https://instagram.com/p/8S8cq6Q0mO/

Questions: (3 weeks ago)

https://instagram.com/p/_ScUHRw0od/

We get numerous messages from parents inquiring about ASL for their new, or not so new, child with Down syndrome and whether or not it's an investment in both time and money worth taking.  I think the proof is in these videos & in the other videos/testimonials from parents just like us.  Buying that first Signing Time DVD was one of the best decisions I've ever made as a parent.  Take the plunge - you won't regret it!!  

P.S.  If you'd like to see more of Reese in action, we have tons of videos posted on our Instagram account (@mizzoumum) under the hashtag #reesereel.   

Happy October!

It's 7:30 a.m. and I have approximately 10 minutes before all hell breaks loose in this house.  I'm downing some coffee and frantically typing away as I recall a promise I made to myself roughly 365 days ago.  "Next year you will have your s*%t together.  You will have meaningful, thought-provoking blog posts written, saved and ready to publish each day in October."  I've realized a few things over the past year.  I may or may not ever have my s*%t together again.  I value sleep.  It is literally impossible to get ANYTHING done when all three of my children are under the same roof.  The adoption process is time-consuming.  I cannot quit my job.   

Combine the above revelations and the conclusion is pretty clear.  I will not be posting something everyday in October in honor of Down Syndrome Awareness month.  Do I want to?  Yes.  Is it realistic?  No.  Am I fine with admitting that there are just not enough hours in the day?  I'm getting there.

It's not that I'm any less passionate about advocating for my daughter and educating the world about Down syndrome.  Obviously we adore that extra chromosome - we are traveling across the world to add another genetically enhanced beauty to our family.  It's just this:  our life does not revolve around Down syndrome like I originally thought it would.  It's a key component of our lives and has taken us in directions we hadn't previously dreamed, but it's only one component.

Life isn't chaotic because of Down syndrome.  It's chaotic because Reagan & Reese both go the pre-school and mom & dad both go to work.  Play dates, story time, and park outings are sandwiched between soccer practices and dance recitals.  Church events, neighborhood get-togethers and social outings often compete on the calendar.  Dirty laundry and dishes replicate at alarming rates and rooms can be annihilated in under 5 minutes when three little bodies are set free.  And every now and again the Royals play on TV...in October...and that, my friends, is worthy of some undivided attention.      

I'm not complaining.  If anything I'm rejoicing.  Because our life is crazy and hysterical and messy and beautiful - all things I worried about after hearing "your daughter is showing classic signs of Down syndrome."  So for anyone who is just starting this journey and wondering if life will ever be the same, I'm here to tell you it won't ever be the same, it will be better.  Down syndrome won't be your story - it will just be one glorious and cherished part of it. 

Notes from Uncle Michael {Thursday's Thoughts - 31 for 21}

Sooo...this 31 for 21 thing kicked my butt this year.  I have lots of excuses, none of which you want to hear, so I won't share them.  I had a list, an idea for each day, but so many of the topics deserve more than the 15 minutes of spare time I had each night to write.  Eventually the thoughts in my head will find their way to the screen & you'll learn even more about our journey with Miss Reese.  If October had only 21 days then I would've nailed it, but we ended up with 20 more entries than the rest of 2013 combined (I am the world's worst blogger).  I will do better next year.  Promise. 

I can't think of a better way to close out the month than with a piece from Uncle Michael.  I should mention that his wife nixed this essay.  She wanted him to write something else.  But I think it's perfect, in a sense that only my brother can achieve.  Enjoy.  


 

I'll be honest. I have nothing.

Last year, I delivered a piece that was, perhaps, a little emotionally manipulative. I am told that people cried. As a person, I'm sorry about that. As a writer, I'm unapologetically proud.

Back then I was just making sense out of what it meant to have a niece with Down syndrome. There was the initial shock, and then the sadness, and then the shame at being sad, as if wanting her not to have Down syndrome was somehow an affront to her existence, the kind of self-serving desire that exposes the tension between what we want and what she is. It messes with your head, this chromosome. On the one hand, I wish she didn't have it. On the other, I wouldn't have her any other way.

But that stuff fades. In truth, I just don't think about it much anymore. I have that luxury. I'm not her parent. I don't have to think about Reese's orthotics or where she'll go to school. I don't concern myself with low muscle tone or gross motor skills.

I'm just her uncle, someone who sees her often, but nowhere near daily. For me, Reese has become an utterly unremarkable child, and I mean that in the best possible way.

Since I last wrote, Reese's family has grown. She is now one of three girls. And here are some things I've observed in that time. Reese is funny. But she's not funnier than her big sister. She's adorable. But she's no more adorable than the baby.

She loves the circus. But not more than my son. She likes to dance. But not more than my daughter. She enjoys a good birthday party. But not more than any kid I know.

She's a ray of sunshine, a singular snowflake. She's all those greeting-card clichés. But the world is full of sunshine and snowflakes.

Reese is just a sweet little girl.

That's what I mean when I say I have nothing. I have nothing profound to say about having a niece with Down syndrome anymore, because I don't think about having a niece with Down syndrome much anymore. That's not to say that I'm above that sort of thing. I'm no stranger to prejudice and stigma. I know what it's like to be ashamed of my own thoughts. But more and more, I have come to realize that the things we fear most are abstractions, the traits we know a little about but don't really understand in any tangible way.

I grew up in a time and place that was very white, very sectarian, very straight. And I remember the jokes and the offhand prejudice from people who should have known better. But they didn't know better because they didn't know anyone who wasn't like them. And then I went to college and then out into the world, and the more people I met, the more I understood that our different qualities were points of interest, not lines of demarcation.

I met people of different races. I met people of different faiths. I met people of a different sexual orientation. And in a short span they went from exotic creatures to folks who were like me in more ways than they were different. I recently spent a long weekend with one of my closest friends, a guy who happens to be (and what an insidious phrase "happens to be" is) Jewish. We spent a lot of time talking about rock and roll bands. Circumcision never came up.

And in the little time I now spend thinking about Down syndrome, I think of it in the same way. Reese has one trait that makes her different from her sisters, but she has dozens that make her more like them.

Before Reese, I had encountered people with Down syndrome, of course, but I didn't really know any of them. Now I know and love someone with that extra chromosome, and most days it's no more consequential to me than my friend's faith. It puts no space between us. It's just a point of interest.

I suppose I'm just trying to say this: Reese is an utterly unremarkable child, and I mean that in the best possible way.

The Walk {Wordless Wednesday - 31 for 21}

Our annual Step Up for Down Syndrome Walk was this past Saturday.  Over 300 teams & 10,000 walkers joined us for an awesome day of celebration.  Reese's Rebels raised close to $6,000 which will go directly to our beloved DSG.  Thank you, thank you!!  Your support means the world to us.



Bear crawl {31 for 21}

I am ready for Reese to walk.  I will be thrilled when the months of hard work have finally paid off.  But I have to admit, I'm gonna miss her preferred method of transportation.  Her bear crawl is the bomb.

The Artist {Saturday's Stars - 31 for 21}

I don't follow the royal couple.  I didn't watch the wedding & wasn't stalking the Internet awaiting news of George's birth.  They seem like nice enough people, but British royalty is not my cup of tea (no pun intended).  But throw an artist with Down syndrome in the mix and I'm a little more intrigued by the Prince & Princess.  This makes me happy. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/12/will-kate-painting-gift_n_3915196.html

Therapy {Wordless Wednesday - 31 for 21}

Reese has been receiving physical, occupational & speech therapy since birth.  Ok, I might be exaggerating a bit, but her first OT visit came at 4 weeks old.  She was barely awake.  Miss Heather has worked with Reese every Wednesday for 2 years.  We added PT & Speech along the way so she now averages 2 therapy sessions a week.  Needless to say, these therapists have become part of the family & it will be a very sad day when Reese transitions to the school setting when she's three.

Here are just a few pics from her OT session last week.