Proud

I've officially entered the world of special needs.  The process is amazingly streamlined now.  While still in the NICU, we met with a social worker who referred us to First Steps (for those that aren't familiar with this program, it is Missouri’s Early Intervention system for infants and toddlers, birth to age 3, who have delayed development or diagnosed conditions that are associated with developmental disabilities.)  A diagnosis of Down syndrome automatically qualifies Reese for this program & we're not wasting any time. We've already had 2 visits from the coordinator to identify expectations/goals for the next 6 months & our first Occupational Therapy session last week.  For now, Reese will work with an OT twice a month & we will add Physical Therapy & Speech Therapy services when she's ready.  Between visits, Reese is subjected to daily workouts led by her parents (okay, led by me - Ben is more into snuggling & gazing at his new baby girl).

The above is just a preface to the real point of this entry.  I'm sure reading about Reese's therapy schedule is about as exciting as watching KU play football this year (he he...go Tigers!).  While setting goals for Reese's therapy, I was instructed to fill out a questionnaire.  One of the questions was, "what makes you most proud of Reese?".  At first I thought this was an odd question.  She was 4 weeks old at that time & her hours consisted of sleeping, eating, pooping & more sleeping.  Which of those activities made me most proud?  Seriously?  I thought of skipping that question & then it hit me...it hit me like a ton of bricks.  It hit me in such a way that my heart burst & the tears poured from my eyes.  I'm proud of Reese because she's a FIGHTER!!

From conception, Reese has been blessed with an extra copy of her 21st chromosome.  She was given the task of creating an entire little body with extra genetic material that is often not compatible with life.  Because of this extra chromosome, her heart didn't fully develop & she's been surviving, even thriving, with essentially a big hole in the center of her heart. 

She has low muscle tone that will delay her development & cause her to reach milestones at a slower pace.  But look what she does already...

I'm not in denial.  I realize she will face many challenges but every ounce of my being knows she will reach her full potential.  She has a family that loves her unconditionally, a big sister who is already a fierce protector, an incredible local Down syndrome guild that will surely be an invaluable resource to us in the upcoming years.  But most importantly, she has grit.  She has moxie.  She's a fighter!

Fighting her way out of the NICU...

into the arms of her pumpkin-lovin' family

A Big Sis

Sixteen days ago there was only one baby residing in this house.  Sure, another was hanging out in the womb & savoring those last few hours of perpetual warmth & nourishment, but only one baby was actually walking the halls of the Wallace abode & claiming it for herself.  Reagan.  Our first.  The beloved little creature we welcomed into our lives 21 months ago that has rocked our world & taught us a whole new level of love & patience & patience & did I mention, patience?  I still call her "my baby".  Every morning I greet her in her crib with an exuberant, "good morning, baby!!"  In response to her persistent cries of "mommy, mommy", I'll say, "yeah, baby?"  And it's not just me.  She's a pro when it comes to reciting names of family members & the members of our animal kingdom, but when I point to her & ask her name, she always replies "babeee" (in that adorable high pitch, sort-of-a-question type tone). 

Sure, throughout my pregnancy I thought about how different life was gonna be with two.  I knew Reagan would somehow have to adjust to not being the center of our universe anymore.  She would have to adjust to sharing mommy & daddy with this new addition to the family.  And those that know Reagan were largely apprehensive of how this adjustment would go.  For those that haven't met her, let's just say she has a mind of her own.  Laid-back & easy-going are not adjectives you'd use to describe her.  She's independent, stubborn & mischevious & she's been this way since birth.  And we love every single sassy ounce of her.

Then September 16th was upon us & something magical happened.  Reagan grew up before our very eyes.  What was supposed to be a 2-day sabbatical with Mimi (Grandma Atchison) turned into a week long shuffling between friends & family.  The 6 days I spent in the hospital felt like an eternity for an obvious multitude of reasons, one of which was the separation from my Reagan.  For me it was torture, like having my fingernails ripped off one by one, & I kept wondering if she thought I had abandoned her.  "Where's that woman that typically greets me every morning & tries to make me eat vegetables & chastises me when I hit the dogs?" is what I envisioned her thinking.  I just knew she was a mess like her mama.  Boy, did she prove me wrong.

Reportedly, she went from house to house & person to person like a champ.  No crying, no tantrums, just an "OK, I'm totally gonna go with the flow" type attitude. I had completely underestimated her.  But I still knew the worst was yet to come.  She was gonna implode when we finally brought Reese home.  No more "Mr. Nice Baby".  Boy, did she prove me wrong again.  The transition was seamless.  One minute she went from sharing the house with only her 4-legged friends to sharing it with a being that we loved as passionately as we loved her.  Her sister was home & there was no jealously, no evil glances, just acceptance.  Acceptance & more importantly, love.  I have no idea how this precocious, almost 2-year old drama queen came to such an easy realization that Reese was now forever intertwined in our lives.  Maybe it's the instant bond of sisterhood, or just nature's way of allowing families to expand without drama, but it was heavenly.  And now it's all about the kisses...